People freely go into a church either to admire its architecture and contents; to listen to a concert; to attend a social function, to light a candle for a dear one or simply to appreciate its stillness and tranquillity. They feel quite relaxed about this even if they are not regular ‘church goers’.
It could be different if you’re thinking about participating in a church service for the first time or after a gap of a number of years. You may feel hesitant because you don’t know the ‘routine’.
What should I wear? Where should I sit? Will I know when to stand or sit? What about the collection? What do I do during communion? Can I bring my children?
If these are the sort of things that are worrying you: Relax!
Read on as what follows is designed to make it much less intimidating and will hopefully give you the confidence to make that first step.
Arriving
You’ll find service times on the Regular Services Page on this website.
Remember about your mobile telephone – switch it to silent. The church’s location is not great for connectivity but we’ve now got WiFi – so if you feel a sudden urge to Tweet that last line you just heard in the sermon 🙂 – chances are that it will work!
Arriving about 5 or 10 minutes before the start would give you time to get the feel of the place.
There is level access via the Annexe entrance on the South (river) side of the church.
At both entrances sidesmen will welcome you and help you get settled if you wish.
Otherwise just make your way in and find a seat in the main body of the church.
Normally there are no reserved seats in St. Mary’s; no-one is going to feel put out because you’ve chosen to sit in the wrong seat because there aren’t any, so don’t worry. (If there are seats reserved, for instance for baptism families, these will be clearly indicated by a notice on the seat).
Once you’ve found a place, take a moment or two to look around. You will see that some people are quietly chatting, some may be praying, some just sit looking through the information sheet.
Feel at ease; you’re in God’s house and a very welcome guest – along with everyone else!
Children
An area is permanently set aside at the front of the church as a children’s ‘corner’.
There, children can amuse themselves when their interest wanders and make use of the available toys. Maybe you brought their own favourite toys along – having remembered to chose one of the non-squeaking variety for the occasion! Parents can sit nearby and hope to catch what’s going on while keeping an eye….
… we realise that it can be difficult if children start crying or become fractious or restless and want to run around, and we sympathise with how you might feel- but just know this: you and your child are welcome! So they may make a noise -so what…?
Perhaps as an introduction to the church environment why not bring your child to the All Together Church Service on the first Sunday of the month so they and you can get a feel of it….?
The All Together Church service is slightly shorter than the usual Sunday service and its format is definitely child-friendly.
It is designed and led by the leaders and members of The Way youth club and is hands-free with everything projected on screen, frequently including video clips to illustrate the subject.
Children under 12 might like to join others when they go to Sunday Club in the Annexe to have arts and crafts, story telling, prayer and fun under the guidance of trained leaders, before re-joining the congregation at the start of the Communion part of the service.
The Sunday Club is open to all children and we hope you will encourage your child(ren) to try it.
It may be useful to know that St Mary’s has toilets, one of which is equipped with a baby changing table, and the other large enough to admit buggies and wheelchairs.
The Service
It will be quite clear when the service is about to start. The Rector will come to the lectern to read the Banns of Marriage if any, and any notices, and will say what will happen next.
We’ll stand for the first hymn.
You can follow the service from the service sheet or book you were given when you came in.
Again: don’t worry about when to sit or stand – if it’s not immediately obvious you could follow what other people do, though sometimes different people do different things, which might be confusing – although it also goes to show that you cannot actually go far wrong whatever you do – phew!
It’s all part of the Delightfully Anglican Muddle…
The Collection
Dyed-in-the-wool parishioners sometimes get caught out by this one! You’re standing there, singing your heart out and suddenly someone presents you with a bag on a stick!
Collection happens during the first hymn after the sermon. It’s announced by the priest who may say that we will now sing the Offertory hymn. Once the singing has started, the collection will begin from the front of the church so you can see it coming.
Quite a few people give by direct debit nowadays, or by using the facility for contactless giving at the back of the church so nobody will find it odd if you just pass the bag along.
Generally, the collection money is used for the up-keep of the church building, its running costs, and for the salary and pensions of clergy. If it’s for a special cause, the priest will have announced it.
Communion Service
If there’s a Communion Service on the Sunday that you’re there that part of the service will begin after the collection. You can follow what’s happening from the service booklet. At some point the priest will invite any visitors to come up to receive communion too. If you feel you’d rather not, that’s fine; just stay put.
Or you could come to receive a blessing instead of communion. In that case, join the others as they file out of the row but carry your service booklet and hold it in both your hands as you kneel at the altar rail, so the priest can see that you expect a blessing. And DO bring your child/ren, too!
After the Service
Before the final Blessing there will be space given to the Sunday Club, to tell about what they did that morning. When the final hymn is over, people may sit quietly for a moment until the organ begins to play again.
Coffee, tea and biscuits are served in the Annexe after every morning service. This is a good time to strike up a conversation if you wish but if you prefer to leave straight away that’s fine too.
The priest will be standing at the door and shake people by the hand as they are leaving.
We probably skipped mentioning some things, like the Peace during a communion service, when people shake hands or by some other distance signs wish each other the Peace of the Lord,
or that the sermon usually lasts between 10-14 minutes….. but we hope that, on the whole, you found this explanation helpful.
If you’ve read this far and you’re hesitating about taking part in a full service then you might want to to try the 15-minute Midweek Reflection instead.
This happens every Wednesday at 7.07 pm, is quietly meditative in style with some reading, music (no singing) and prayer. Usually only around 15 people come to this.
The odd starting time is to do with commuter trains arriving back in Wivenhoe. It’s an amazingly settling way to end a day of stress and tiredness.
